Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
