im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
bring money and cleavage
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
