I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
