The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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