My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
