If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
