Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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