pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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