TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
