Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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