Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I need water and some morals
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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