All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
