sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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