she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
