She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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