you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you would pick up someone in the library
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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