hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
