im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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