im six kinds of drunk right now
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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