i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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