Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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