Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
