He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
