So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
