you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
