She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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