about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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