Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
