am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Found your dick twin last night
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
