How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
