handjob tips. give me some.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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