Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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