you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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