Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
