Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
