i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
