i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
