I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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