I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
