At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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