Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Drake has all the answers
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
