Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Floor bacon is actually really good
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
