I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Someone signed my nipple.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
