Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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