Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
