Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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