Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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