We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
