i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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