Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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