mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
