since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
