would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize