9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize