Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
