I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
