he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
