Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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