It's Friday. Sex?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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