the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize