I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
