whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
