That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Be still, my beating vagina.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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