Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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