No stitches, just platelets and will power
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
