It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i think i just lost a toe
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
