his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
