thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
