nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
