Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
