you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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