Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Drake has all the answers
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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