How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
They should really pass out barf bags in church
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
